One of Ours

One aspect of child-rearing in Japan I've been surprised at is how much
responsibility is given to kids. My son had to take off school a few days
earlier than the other kids to come to the U.S. with me, and I was
surprised to see that it was his own responsibility to write a note and
deliver it to the principal to get permission to leave school early, not
his mother's. In Japan, public school isn't completely free, and parents
have to pay around $100-150 each month for various school-related expenses,
and his money is delivered each month in cash by my kids, even though
they're only in the second and third grade. Kids also are more free to make
important decisions about their future than they would be in the U.S., too.
My own son, for example, made the decision to go to the new experimental
English school that's opening up next April, and if he'd said he didn't
want to go, we wouldn't have forced him. When kids are in their last year
of Junior high school, they have to decide what to do next: study hard and
try to get into a good high school, which will help them get into a
top-name college; go to a less challenging high school that's easy to get
into; or, in very rare cases, not bother with high school and just get a
job, since compulsory education ends after the ninth grade. Of course
parents and teachers have input in the child's decision about his future,
but in general I've been surprised to see that the child is usually the one
making most of the decisions.

It's fun to live in Japan, and I really enjoy it, but you do without some
things from home. There's no central heating in Japan, and so on rooms are
either heated or cooled as you use them. This is great for conserving
energy, but it's hard to walk from a very warm room to one that's below
freezing in the winter. Often you learn to make do with what's available to
you. You make do with what's on television, too: I was never
really a fan of Beverly Hills 90210 or all the films of Steven Segall, but
when that's all that's on in English, you'd be surprised what you can
watch.

All gaijin seem to have a special love of Kyoto. Built in 794 A.D., it's
built in a grid pattern that's very logical and easy to navigate, amazing
for a city so old. Originally named Heiankyo, the life and times of ancient
Japanese court life are recorded in the famous book (considered to be the
first modern novel), Genji Monogatari, A Tale of Genji. One of the most
famous sights of the city is the amazing Golden Pavillion (Kinkakuji),
rebuilt after it was burned down in 1950 by a young monk who thought that
the gaudy building didn't mesh with the Rinzai sect of Zen Buddhism.
Amazingly, the city is one of Japan's most modern cities, with a recently
completed large train station of gleaming glass and steel girders.
Foreigners are always captivated by the city when they go there the first
time, and Kyoto holds a special place in the hearts of everyone who visits
the city.

The Japanese language has a great many kotowaza or old proverbs, recounting
the wisdom of past generations. It's fun for gaijin to study these
proverbs, because no one expects a foreigner to know archaic Japanese
sayings. One of my favorite kotowaza is "ningen banji saiou-ga-uma" which
means "All things are like Saiou's horse." This refers to an old Chinese
story about a man named Saiou whose horse broke his leg -- making everyone
say how unfortunate he was. Because he had no horse, though, he didn't have
to go off to battle to be killed, so this was a good thing. The moral of
the story is, when something good or bad happens, no one can say for sure
if it is truly a good or bad thing in the end. Another proverb you hear a
lot is "ishi no ue ni mo san-nen" which is translatable as "Three years
sitting on a stone makes it comfortable." In other words, if you're going
to try something new, keep at it for at least three years before you give
up. Also: "suki koso mono no jozu nare" which means "What one likes, one
does well," or, you become good at doing things you actually like doing, so
choose your career based on what you like to do. If you want to see more
Japanese proverbs, here's an interesting page:
http://www.ite.ie/proverbs/jproverb.htm